Forgive For Good
There are many religious, spiritual and psychological philosophies available to us today. Some differ and contradict each other; others are quite similar. One thread that runs throughout is; forgiveness.
Fred Luskin PhD., has made a career out of studying forgiveness. His book, Forgive for Good
1. I heard him speak three years ago and I was impressed with his calm presence. He is humble. He is a man of high integrity.
2. His premise: Scriptures and ethics say forgiveness is a good idea – lets prove it!
3. Luskin is a Senior Fellow at Stanford University on Conflict and Negotiation. He runs outcome studies on: The effects of forgiveness on college students, effects of forgiveness on stress and anger, hypertension reduction through forgiveness.
4. I read his book cover to cover in 24-hours, it was that good. Then I actually used and remember his techniques. For all the self-help, pseudo spiritual books I’ve read and then NOT used over the years, this book is worth its weight in gold.
Luskin says forgiving doesn’t always mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning harmful or abusive behavior. What it does mean is:
- Take your hurt less personally
- Take responsibility for how you feel
- Become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell
There is much more to the book than those three points, and I have highlighted almost every sentence because there is wisdom and practicality in each paragraph.
He begins by saying, “something happened that you did not want to happen, which then caused you to create a grievance.” Yet Luskin reminds us that we were not the first nor will we be the last to be hurt the way we were.
Luskin shares his own experience of personal betrayal and writes with compassion. His nine-step forgiveness model has practical examples (including his successful work with victims from both sides of Northern Ireland’s civil war). He also provides startling new insight and scientific research into the mental and physical benefits of forgiveness.
Next time you are in your library or bookstore keep an eye out for this book; its one that I refer back to again and again!
